im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
