If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
