I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
