He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
