meet me or not, i'm out of control
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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