Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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