I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
