next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
