didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
