If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
