I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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