I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize