im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
