I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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