im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize