The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We need to rekindle our bromance
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
