We're like a lot better than the average bears
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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