It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
