I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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