That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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