Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My bed smells like the plague
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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