Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
