The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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