dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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