Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
