porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
