My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
