I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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