dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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