She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
