Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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