He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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