So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
