she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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