the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
