I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
