Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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