It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
