my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
