Me too!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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