I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
