I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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