Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
