The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
