dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
