I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
