Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
