once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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