Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
