I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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