She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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