I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
