??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
