fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize