Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
