On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
