So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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