I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
