At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
