im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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